Another Development in suicide bombing by ISI... ;)

The Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) reports that it is carrying out research, the results of which are expected to revolutionize the field of suicide bombing. This groundbreaking research, carried out in collaboration with top Pakistani officials, is focused on designing a suicide vest small enough to be worn comfortably by a 6 month old fetus ;) . At the same time, the explosives packed within will be powerful enough to cause the same damage as that worn by an 11 year old boy :P.

Commenting on this amazing breakthrough in jihadi technology, ISI officials said that the design of this tiny vest would result in a significant reduction in suicide bomber development cycle times which currently range from about ten to fifteen years.

"Old and outdated suicide vest technology required us to nurture, feed and clothe every single bomber from the time of his birth right up to his first and last mission, which could take years. The whole thing wasn't very cost-effective. Now, with this new technology, God's cute little soldiers can begin to blow stuff (and themselves) up mere months after being conceived."

Although most fetuses have been known to suffer from issues of defiance and independent thinking, manifested by their steadfast refusal to leave the womb on command and carry out a terrorist attack, it is hoped that watching religious indoctrination videos during their conception will lead to a new breed of fetuses that are aware of their martyrdom objective and better-prepared to serve in God's army.

                                                          HAIL PAKISTAN... ;) ISI \m/

ASSET ASS.....

Why can't men , if women can !!!. The fashion world is chuckling up over the latest breakthrough in men's wear - THE BULGE PANTS !! Not only is the crotch padded up to present a more enhanced appearance but there is also a version that also lifts up a sagging butt and makes the wearer feel like John Abrahm in Dostana . From codpieces worn by Victorian gentlemen to bananas stuffed into underpants by rockstars like Mike Jagger , men have always tried to draw attention to what's between their legs; perhaps to distract from what's between their ears :P.
                            Women have also tried the same with their obsession with breasts . And in  Rakhi Sawant's famous words " Joh dikhta hai , wo bikta hai " :D. If you don't have it , but still want to flaunt it, go right ahead with a little help from your friendly , neighborhood doctors :D .
                          Reports indicate that the newly launched bulge pants are flying off shelves . A rumor said that Shahid kapoor uses bulge pants for better appearance. How true that is?? Only the director and the actor knows about it. Some of you may recall David Beckham's ad for Armani briefs which had bought the traffic to a halt when it was released as a gigantic billboard in New york. There were dozens of articles in the press about the errr.... family jewels. Was David truly blessed ? Were his best assets all his? Or ahem....photoshopped??? Only his wife knew for sure! And trust Victoria Beckham to issue a bold statement that it was David all the way.

                        Here in our country, nowadyas women in bikinis don't raise as much of eyebrows as men in chaddis do.Women are allowed to pour out  of their garments, and wardrobe malfunctions don't shock anymore. ;)  But look at what happen to John when his showed his ahem....buttocks. Media all around!!! He easily overpowered many of the actresses who had formerly sizzled in bikinis and was a leviathan hit all over. KUDOS....
                      After 'choli ke peeche kya hai.... ' some Bollywood song is ready to use the lyrics ' patllon ke peeche kya hai' in the interest of gender equality :p. Lets wait and see !!!!!

The Best Years of life.......

Couple of years to enjoy me life,
But the future depends how hard i strive,
Years of defeat moments of glory,
Everything will then just be a story,
...
..
novels will turn into files n folders,
three years from now i'll be a degree holder,
all time ICE TEA will turn into 4 o clock tea,
life's gonna be a mess just wait n see,
short term relations to b'day treats,
times will come wen we will hardly meet,
Spot the girls, tic tac toe to FIFA fights,
lovely masti nights will turn into lonely nights,
classroom messaging and crush on friends,
list is long and would never end,
going to beach and cheese garlic naan
and while coming back,the paan ki dukaan,
the amazing road trips to nescafe pe time pass,
you will never know how soon the time will pass,
....
...
time will pass with the fastest speed,
i'll be there wenever you need,
college will be over and we'll all go away,
tears wont stop on our farewell day,
....
....

RESOLUTIONZZZZZZZZZZ............

A day to break and make resolutions. So,whats yours?? Is it as  amazing as you are , or it is the same old cliche "  I want to be Sir Richard Branson "  types.....??

Truthfully, I hadn’t 100% planned a New Year’s Resolution . But then again, I hadn’t planned on writing this post  for New Years either.

At this time of year, many of us are thinking about making New Year's Resolutions to change things that haven't been working for us for in a long while. Have you made a list of the ways in which you’d like to change your behavior and the choices you make each day? Or  are you someone who does not believe in them? Actually i would say we dont take them seriously , we just take it for just the sake of taking it as a ritual or something.

These are actually some resolutions , not the beginning of some revolution. And if you think that resolutions like celebs make are to be followed , then grow up guys. Its all reel ,never real. :) .So, whether you make a list of illogical,wierd or unconventional resolutions , there is a strong chance that you'll end up not following them or adding them to your next year's resolutions.

 Ya sure, many of you are going to make resolutions or would have made it earlier or may be extended and "re made" the last year's list. Whatever you do , please make sure that you do not  get adventurous and later are not able to follow up those things. But whatever you do, be a bit neoptic in your life( in a good manner , not like it happens in our government where there is just ME AND MY FAMILY and common man is the one to suffer).

Would like to share a small myth which i read somewhere about the africans , mainly west africans follow .

I learnt about a mythical bird Sankofa , which flies forward while looking backward, with an egg in its mouth

Well, what we can learn from this mythical bird's way is that "It is not wrong to go back for that It which you have forgotten". It says that one must take the good experiences from past and bringing it into present in order to make positive progress through the benevolent use of knowledge.

ALL THE BEST AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL. :)